I've been meaning to do this one for a while, but kept forgetting. Almost looked like Weebly wasn't going to let me, either. It wouldn't let me edit the title. First it refused to open it for editing, then when it finally did, and the blinking "type here" line appeared, it was ignoring my input. And when I told it to discard the draft so I could start a new one and hopefully resolve the glitch, it saved it as a draft anyway. When I went to open the draft, it continued glitching up, but with a little gamer stubbornness, I finally managed to get it to let me put text up there. Off to a fantastic start!
If you've been a developer as long as I have, hell, if you've been a gamer for even 10 years, you're probably already well aware of who I'm talking about with the title of this post: the Non-Gamer Authority.
For those who don't know who I'm talking about, maybe because you haven't been on the scene long enough, or just haven't seen them, I'm referring to people who have never played a single video game in their entire lives, or have only played Scrub Crush and FarmScrubs, yet think they know it all. In fact, these people seem to think they have any ground upon which to lecture us about how gamers are, or how video games should be. Not a specific genre, not their favorite games, no, they think they understand and have authority on the entire industry. You know, the industry that's bigger than guns, bigger than Hollywood, and just about to overtake porn in earnings? They think they understand that without having ever been part of it in any way, shape, or form.
These are people that no proud gamer likes. They're probably even hated slightly more than griefers and cheaters. More infuriating than the 10 year old Call of Duty player who talks a big talk, but walks a shameful walk of unfair playing, and weak camping. And are also as punchable as Jack Thompson.
I, myself, a nobody game developer, have even run up against Non-Gamer Authorities.
Person: "Your games aren't going to sell. You need to appeal to a broader audience if you ever expect to get anywhere!"
Me: "I'm going to need you to elaborate. What is it about my game that makes you say that?"
Person: "First of all, where are the female protagonists?"
Me: "There's one here. *Links image of female protagonist* And another one coming up is planned to be an important NPC."
Person: "This is, like, really problematic. You didn't include a black female protagonist, a brown female protagonist, a mixed female protagonist, and I don't see a single plus-size or trans character. Oh, and there has to be more than one of each, otherwise they're tokens. And if they aren't all playable, then it's sexism."
Me: "It's an RPG. There is only so much room on the screen for characters, and when I design characters, they have to differentiate from others in terms of magic and weapons, to make them feel more unique. So if you want me to add someone, you're going to have to suggest a weapon type."
Person: "Uggh, weapons? You mean violence? That is so not going to make me want your game."
Me: "Well, that's your problem, then. This game isn't meant for you. Don't like it? Don't buy it."
Person: "Let me know when and where you put it up so I can have it taken down."
Me: *Losing patience* "Right, look, I have one that's not violent that I was thinking about, a few years back. Maybe if you wait, I'll be willing to work on that one next, and I'll notify you so you can buy that one when it comes out."
Person: "Pff, I don't even play games."
Me: "So you spent the last 20 minutes lecturing me about how my game won't appeal to you, and in the end, you don't even play games, so no games even appeal to you... And regardless of whether or not my game was non-violent and had a character of every color, every body weight, every flavor of disability, and every gender in the feminist book of genders, I wouldn't have ever seen a single purchase off of you... Remind me why I should do anything you're asking for?"
Person: "What's the name of your company? I want to contact your manager about your behavior."
Me: "I work for BastendorfGames. Founder speaking, how may I help you?"
Person: "You're not getting anywhere with an attitude like that! I look forward to ruining your career! Blocked!"
Conveniently serves as both an example of what I meant by Non-Gamer Authority, and a hard lesson on why you should never give an SJW the time of day. She actually wanted multiple female characters of different skin variations, weight variations, and for me to fit trans characters in, all on a character roster that was already full. And even if she had gotten her way, she wasn't a gamer anyway, so she wouldn't have even played.
Greenhorns and aspiring game devs, heed my warning: Do not listen to SJWs or Non-Gamers. They will never be happy, they will make demands and try to get you to make a game that they'll like, and not only will you not get their sales, but you likely won't get actual gamers' sales either, because by the time the SJWs and non-gamers are satisfied with your game, it will be awful garbage. And to top it all off, you'll still get SJWs and non-gamers berating you for trying to pander to feminism.
Not even once, young padawan. Not even once... Trust me.