I'm getting more anxious to get back to work, lately, but when I think of all the tedious work my current project needs before I can make any more real progress, I just lose all my energy. I really want to get back to work, but I still don't have the drive to do all the crap the project requires. It's tedious, and I don't handle tedium well when I'm full of drive to work on my project, let alone when I'm tired all the time and not very in the mood to do all the hard stuff.
Yep, just thinking about what I'd need to do and how taxing it would be completely put me out of the mood for developing games again. Not even starting a new project gets me excited to get to work right now. I'm afraid this may end up being a hiatus.
What's Wrong With Me?
Not completely sure. I'm tired all the time, and recently, (as recently as December), it's reached a point where I have little drive for anything, as I mentioned above. I'm starting to come to the realization that it's not just my mattress that's the issue. The mattress is an issue, I've not been mistaken, but I'm starting to get the impression that there's something else that's the matter, too. Something wrong with me. On suggestion from someone I know, I looked up thyroid problem symptoms and more than a handful of them line up.
Alright, after gathering up a list of symptoms on WebMD's Symptom Checker, Hypothyroid appeared within the top 5 most likely conditions.
Heart rhythm disorder
Medication reaction or side-effect
Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFIDS)
I already know it's not medication-related, because I don't take anything nearly regularly enough for that, and I think I can rule out adult depression, because it's not constant enough, which bumps hypothyroidism into the top 3, adding anemia and Type 2 Diabetus to the top 5 list.
I've checked the Diabetes Type 2 symptoms, and I only have 2 of 13 known symptoms. I won't completely rule it out, but it's not looking likely. And only three out of the anemia ones. However, when I looked at WebMD's list of Hypothyroid symptoms, I got a longer list than whatever site I got the first ones from, and I ended up realizing that I have even more symptoms that line up with Hypothyroidism. I have 10 out of 28 total symptoms. That's still almost half, and that's after excluding ones where my answer was "well, sort of". The best the others could give me is 4 out of my 10 symptoms, and usually only covered the fatigue and depression parts.
I think it's early enough along that if I can confirm with a test and start treating it, I think I can avoid serious damage to my body. Hopefully I can pull a quick 180 and not spend months suffering this way as I recover.