I have odd preferences when it comes to guns. This is tangentially related to the theme of my blog because my current project has guns in it.
Take the magnum for example. My taste in magnum is pickier than any other gun out there.
First of all, it has to be a revolver. Magazine fed is unacceptable. Color is also important. Black is fine, black and gold is cool, golden is awesome, but silver is best.
But the one thing that I'm the pickiest about is the gun's look.
What the hell is this wimpy-ass, prissy-ass, midget gun?
Better, but you still aren't winning any points with that thing.
I really dig the 'flintlock' look of the old school civil war ones, but I'd still give it a pass. That black and gold though? Sexy.
No different from the one from a picture ago, but let's face it... any magnum Clint Eastwood used has inherent bonus points involved.
Getting there. This one's close.
"But how is it any different from Dirty Harry's 44?"
See that tube thing attached to the underside of the barrel? (I don't know the terminology for all the parts of a gun.) I think that's important to the drum, but the fact that it goes all the way out to the end of the barrel is a big deal, esthetic-wise. That slatted block-beam on top of the barrel (shut up, I know) also helps.
Almost, but not quite.
Now that's what I'm talking about! That's how a real magnum should look!
"But what makes it any different than the Raging Bull 44?"
See, the Umbrella 357 is has the perfect esthetic, and when it comes to magnums, esthetic is just as important as reliability and quality. To me, anyway...
I'll break down why the Umbrella Corp revolver pleases me. First of all, the barrel. It's bulky and square-ish, plus it's long. It makes the revolver look manly. Don't get me wrong, I can still appreciate the skinny-barrel magnums like in the Smith and Wesson at the top, but when I think about magnums, I think about size. I want a revolver to be big, which is what turns me off about that midget magnum I posted first.
Second thing is that it's a revolver. Easy. If it's going to be a magnum, it's revolver or nothing.
Third, and this one's a minor detail, but makes a world of difference... the little, prominent corner where the nearest of the sights rests. Sorry, no corner, no deal.
However, I do make an exception for the cowboy-style six-shooter. Being the OG revolver comes with its perks...
Fourth, it has those long vent things across the top. (Yeah, I know, I really need to learn the names for these things...) It may be a minor detail, but the effect is substantial.
And fifth, it's silver. Though I do like the frosted silver of the Raging Bull better than the Umbrella's chrome, the oak grip on the Umbrella is far more appealing.
"Pff, normie. Oak grips are for chumps. I only buy pearl grips."
Pearl grips are cool, I guess. You know what's better than pearl grips?
Lapis lazuli grips. There's just something about a deep blue gun grip that's just appealing. But if I'm honest, I would probably get a Punisher-Skull grip instead.
Anyway, the grip isn't an important aspect. I could settle for an oak grip as long as the 5 aspects I covered aligned with my tastes. Though, I can be flexible on the color of the gun.
Strangely, though I do have preferences when it comes to other guns, the magnum is the only one I'm so specific with. Not entirely sure why. The revolver isn't even my most favorite gun type. I'm more of a heavy weapons guy. I love rocket launchers. (I'm talking about video games, people. For the one or two of you who thought I meant that I actually own and shoot real rockets, it's safe to unclench your anuses now.)
Oh, and never put a scope on a magnum. I don't care how effective it makes it, the moment you put a scope on it, the magnum, no matter what it looks like, immediately becomes gay.
To end this post, I'd like to take this opportunity to admire one last gun.
The Samaritan is a thing of beauty. My only gripe with it is that the barrel could stand to be a little bit longer.