Alright, my dress form is here.
Actually, that's a lie. It arrived a day early, so it was actually here on the 11th. I've just been too lazy to bother with the setup. That's the problem, though. Geniuses (which I totally am) tend to have weird bouts of laziness with bursts of lasting energy in between. At least, according to the video I watched, and my own personal experience. 10 Signs You're Actually A Genius
Though the title says "10 Signs", there are actually 11 signs. Guess they couldn't count. I fit all but 3. Traveling, alcoholism, and blue eyes are the only traits from the list I don't have. Frankly they should have kicked the blue-eyed one because that one's just too far fetched. Blue eyes are extremely common.
My place looks like someone's squatting here, but the messier my place is, the more creative I seem to be. Which is convenient because I can't be assed to clean it. So it seems to support the claim.
This is why I got an adjustable one. I didn't want to try to find a stationary one in my size, because I'm a relatively small male, and all the male non-adjustable ones were designed with this really large, muscular body. I could pass myself off as a high school student. Maybe even a middle school student at a stretch... if I shaved and put on a sideways skater hat. So there's no way a body-builder-sized dress form would work for me.
If you plan on getting one of these things, be careful of the kind you get. This one doesn't seem to get very large. Thankfully I'm only a little bigger than the default size, so this one suits me fine. If you're larger than a twink-ass male (my chest is about 34 and 1/2 inches around, for scale) you'd probably be better off getting one for men, and a higher quality one. But I couldn't find one for men under $200 and since this project is for absolute cheapness, I couldn't bear the $200. But not to worry, I'll include instructions on how to make a dress form for like $18, that will perfectly fit you no matter how huge you are. It only requires that you have a buddy to help you. Which I don't have because I'm pathetic.
There's still a bit of setup to do to get it to my size, once that gets done, I get to start pinning and fitting the suit. Still waiting on the marker materials mentioned in my last post. Really glad I ordered that crap early. Had no idea it would take this long to get here. I've had few problems ordering from these guys in the past, so it's a little annoying for them to be taking so long. Thankfully I have a lot of work to do before I get to that part, so it could be a lot worse than it is. But hopefully I don't end up held up on waiting for those damn supplies.
Enough procrastination. I need to get this dress form setup.
Update: If you are a larger male than I am, definitely do not get a female dress form. And if you're a fat male or female, you'll probably have to get creative, go to a tailor, or get someone to help you fit your suit if you're custom making one like me. This thing really does not like my lack of hourglass figure. It's looking like I'm going to have to make some modifications to it just to get it to fit my body shape properly. I'm going to have to saw some of the hips off to get rid of a massive bulge on each side caused by trying to get the hips to match the torso to get rid of the hourglass shape. The poor thing bowed out really far.
For any feminists reading this: It serves as a powerful reminder than men are built different, even the effeminate, smaller ones like me. My midsection is so much wider than this thing was designed for that I had to extend it to its limit. But my pelvis is so narrow, it might not even be able to take my shape properly.
It looks like I might end up having to tear this thing apart and do away with the 'adjustable' part. (Or at the very least, redesign it a little). The pelvis is as closed/small as I can get it, and it's still 3 inches too much larger than mine.
Update 2: I got it set up.
Sadly, it's not quite perfect. I'm 3 inches taller than it is. Or rather, my torso is 3 inches longer than this one. It can't get any longer than it currently is, not without taking a hacksaw to it and doing some heavy duty modification. Fortunately for me, I live by the philosophy of "Eh, good enough."
I also read online that professionals tend to find these things helpful, but overall flawed and pointless. Their posture is usually too perfect, and they can't account for every difference in body shape.
This is why, if you have someone to help, you don't need one of these things. They can fit using you as a model and not one of these. Though, they really should have some idea of what they're doing. You can't just ask your Superbowl Night buddy to help you out.
The only person I know, who knows how to sew as well as I do, is my mom, and she lives some 80 miles away, and I didn't want to drag her all the way out here, making her miss work and use up gas, just to help me with this. And I sure as hell don't want to wear something with a hundred sharp pins in it, so I'm not going to be using my own body to fit my suit.
Plus, I can stick pins into this thing, unlike with myself. Well, I mean, I could... but it would hurt, I'd bleed all over my project, and I'd risk hitting something important and dying from it, so I'm better off using this.
Sadly this thing is cheap in more than just price, and all those dials you can see all over it were fairly hard to turn, and it's left me all worn after staying up so late last night. I'm going to try to power through, and get all the pinning done. Need me some more caffeine.
I raised this thing way up so that I wouldn't have to bend clear over like I had to when I was cutting, so it should take less effort and cause less strain this time.
And once again, so that I don't get anyone disappointed or mad at me: I'm not going to be teaching anyone how to sew. It's too complicated to go into in text form. Sewing is best taught live and in person, or through video, and I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm to record a video tutorial. Plus, there are a million and a half different machines out there, and it's just not possible for me to cover them all. I've only ever used two machines, and more modern ones at that.
Wow, yeah, that's right. I've had my Singer for 4 years, and I've never used it. Pretty sure I only used my Brother twice, and the Viking for a semester. So, as you can imagine, I'm hardly qualified to be teaching one of these things. But if you'd like, I can some tutorials that best explain how to use a sewing machine and I'll throw them in the guide.
Now I'm just procrastinating again... back to work before I fall into lethargy.